Written in 2017 when I was finally feeling more confident with my new voice. This is a dramatic work of contrasts and transitions; from clouds of overlapping texture to sharp definition; from frayed and blurred melodic fragments, to unison ensemble, and from apparent quasi senza misura pulse to highly charged rhythm. There are also stylistic modulations: from romantic rhapsody to jazz funk, from soft consonance to hard dissonance and from static harmony to one instance of a traditional harmonic progression and cadence - with a quotation (Can you identify the composer and the work?). The piece ends with a huge climax and final resolution. Or does it?
I hope performers and listeners will make their own connections between the title of this work and the musical material in it; a forlorn bassoon solo near the end is surrounded by echoes of its own voice but in the end there is no answer; a final E screams uncomfortably; maybe there will never be an answer. Maybe what we were looking for isn't there.